Ever since I started BYU back in the Summer, I've been waiting ever so patiently for the day when I was able to submit my mission papers. There was nothing holding me back from my desire to serve....other than the fact that I had a year left before I would be turning 19. At times I would get really annoyed that I had to wait a whole year to go while the rest of my friends were turning in their papers and heading on their missions-starting the chapter of their lives that I so badly wanted to start myself. But because I've had to wait longer than the rest, I've been able to see if a mission is really what I am supposed to do. I didn't want to go because it was "the trend", because I felt like I was expected to go or to make time go by faster. I wanted to go on a mission because I wanted to go and because it's the right thing for ME.I look back at myself before the mission changed happened in the October 2012 General Conference and am amazed at where I am now. I was one of those girls who did NOT want to go because by the time I was 21 I wanted to be married and start a family. Inside I always knew that serving a mission is something that Heavenly Father really wanted my to do, but I let my stubborn self take control and defy all of those feelings. Whenever someone would say something to me about serving a mission, I would get really defensive-which only proved to me more that it was something that I knew I needed to do. Then came October of 2012 and President Monson changed my whole world. When he made the announcement that young men would serve at 18 and young women at 19, I could not deny that I was supposed to go. The spirit was overwhelming and not only was I ecstatic for all of my friends who would leave shortly after graduation, but for myself because I knew I would go. I kept my decision to serve a secret from all of my friends and family for a really long time because I didn't want to disappoint them if it didn't end up happening. When people would ask if I was going to serve I would say, "We'll see. I have a late birthday so a lot can happen in a year." even though I knew the whole time that I would be serving. I finally got to the point where I didn't care to tell people anymore, because I knew that even after a year that I would put on that special name tag to be Sister Gubler and serve Him wherever he believes I should serve. In November I was able to start working on my papers and only have one signature left before they are submitted on February 20th, 2014.Exactly 120 days before my availability date and my birthday.There really are no words to express how excited and ready I am to serve the Lord. I have been able to grow in ways that I never thought that I could in this year of waiting and the relationship that I have formed with my Father in Heaven and Savior is something I will never give away. I have been able to grow and learn with my friends already serving on missions and open my eyes to the reality of missionary work. It is not easy but that does not mean that it's not something that I can't do. Now, there's only 41 days until I know where I will be serving with my whole heart for 18 months and I only become that much more excited and ready to serve each day. Today, my absolutely amazing brother Nick comes home from his mission in Alpine, Germany and I couldn't be more excited to continue to prepare and grow with him to become the missionary that he was. Nick has been the best example of how a missionary should be and there is no one else that I would want to be with while preparing for a mission of my own for the next 6 months. As Alma 29:9 beautifully says,
"I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy."
Elder Troy Whittle also wrote this amazing poem about missionary work that really puts it into perspective and to help you always remember that He's Been There Before.
HE'S BEEN THERE BEFORE
BY ELDER TROY WHITTLE
TEXAS HOUSTON MISSION
THE ALARM RINGS AT 6:30; I STUMBLE TO MY FEET.
I GRAB MY COMPANION'S BEDDING AND PULL OFF HIS SHEETS.
A GROAN FILLS THE ROOM, IS IT ALREADY TIME TO ARISE?
IT SEEMS LIKE JUST A SECOND AGO I WAS ABLE TO SHUT MY EYES.
THE MORNING ACTIVITIES FOLLOW-STUDY, PRAYER AND SUCH.
WHEN IT'S TIME TO LEAVE THE APARTMENT, YOU FEEL YOU HAVEN'T ACCOMPLISHED MUCH.
"WE HAVE A SUPER DAY PLANNED," MY COMP SAYS WITH A GRIN.
I LOWLY UTTER A FAITHLESS BREATH, "YEAH, IF ANYONE LETS US IN."
WITH THE WORD OF GOD AND MY FAITHFUL SCHWINN, WE RIDE OFF IN THE STREET PREPARED TO FACE ANOTHER DAY OF HUMIDITY AND HEAT.
IT'S 9:30 IN THE EVENING, THE DAY IS ALMOST THROUGH.
MY CHAMPION AND I ARE RIDING HOME NOT ACCOMPLISHING WHAT WE THOUGHT TO DO. WE RIDE UP TO THE MAILBOX, HOPING TO RECEIVE A LOT,
ONLY TO LOOK INSIDE AND HEAR MY ECHO REVERBERATE "AIR BOX".
WE GO UP TO OUR APARTMENT, THE DAY IS NOW COMPLETE,
THE ONLY THING TO SHOW FOR OUR WORK IS A CASE OF BLISTERY FEET.
IT'S PAST 10:30 P.M., MY COMPANION IS FAST ASLEEP,SILENCE ENGULFS ME ALL ABOUT AND I BEGIN TO WEEP.
IN THE MIDST OF SADNESS I KNEEL DOWN TO PRAY;
I NEED TO TALK TO FATHER, BUT I"M NOT SURE WHAT TO SAY.
"OH, FATHER" I BEGIN, "WHAT HAPPENED TO US TODAY?
I THOUGHT WE'D TEACH SOMEBODY, BUT EVERYONE WAS AWAY.
MY HANDS, MY ACHING HANDS-WORN, HURT AND BEAT;
IF OUR AREA WAS ANY SMALLER, WE'D HAVE KNOCKED EVERY STREET."
"WHY ON MISSIONS ARE THE DAYS SO MUCH ALIKE?
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE ABOUT TODAY WAS THE FLAT TIRE ON MY BIKE.
WILL YOU SEND SOME COOLER WEATHER? THE HEAT IS KILLING ME
I SWEAT SO BAD, IT GETS IN MY EYES, IT'S VERY HARD TO SEE."
"WHY DO I HAVE TO WEAR A HELMET, ISN'T YOUR PROTECTION ENOUGH?
PEOPLE ALWAYS LAUGH AT ME AND CALL ME STUPID STUFF.
PLEASE SEND US INVESTIGATORS SO I MAY GIVE THEM WHAT THEY LACK;
I WANT TO GIVE THEM BOOKS OF MORMON, THE WEIGHT OF THEM HURTS MY BACK."
"AND WHAT ABOUT MY FAMILY? THEY DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY,
I'M SICK OF NOT HEARING FROM HOME DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.
OH FATHER, WHY AM I HERE AM I JUST WASTING TIME?
SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO GO HOME, I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S ON MY MIND."
"MY COMPANION, HEAVENLY FATHER, WHAT ARE YOU GIVING ME?
THE WAY HE RIDES HIS BICYCLE I DON'T THINK HE CAN SEE.
NOW YOU HAVE IT, I CAN'T GO ON, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO;
THAT, MY FATHER IN HEAVEN, IS THE PRAYER I HAVE FOR YOU."
MY PRAYER NOW FINISHED I STAND UP, THEN JUMP RIGHT INTO BED.
I NEED MY REST FOR TOMORROW; WE HAVE ANOTHER LONG DAY AHEAD.
SLEEP STARTS TO OVERTAKE ME, I SEEM TO DRIFT AWAY,
THEN IT SEEMS A VISION TAKES ME TO ANOTHER TIME IN ANOTHER DAY.
I'M STANDING ALONE ON THE HILL THE VIEW IS VERY NICE;
A MAN WALKS TOWARDS ME AND SAYS, "MY NAME IS JESUS CHRIST."
TEARS OF JOY WELL UP INSIDE, I FALL DOWN TO HIS FEET,
"ARISE," HE STATES, "FOLLOW ME TO THE SHADE - YOU AND I NEED TO SPEAK."
MY ATTENTION'S TOWARDS MY SAVIOR, TOTAL AND COMPLETE.
HE SAYS, "YOUR MISSION IS SIMILAR OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ME,
I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH;
IN FACT, IT WOULD BE FAIR TO SAY I'VE FELT THE SAME AS YOU."
"I EVEN KNOW HOW YOU FELT WHEN NO ONE LISTENED TO YOU,
AT TIMES I FELT NOT QUITE SURE WHAT ELSE THAT I COULD DO.
I KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE TO RIDE A BICYCLE, FOR YOU A CAR WOULD BE SWEET;
JUST REMEMBER THE DONKEY I RODE WASN'T EQUIPPED WITH 21 SPEEDS."
"I UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T LIKE SWEATING, IN FACT IT'S SOMETHING YOU HATE;
I REMEMBER WHEN I SWEAT BLOOD FROM EVERY PORE, OH THE AGONY WAS GREAT! I SEE YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR COMPANION - YOU'D RATHER HAVE SOMEONE ELSE - I ONCE HAD A COMPANION NAMED JUDAS WHO SOLD MY LIFE FOR WEALTH."
"IT'S HARD TO WEAR A HELMET AND HAVE PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF YOU,
I REMEMBER WHEN THEY PUT THORNS ON MY HEAD AND CALLED ME KING OF THE JEWS. SO YOU FEEL BURDENED DOWN BY THE WEIGHT OF YOUR PACK,
I RECALL HOW HEAVY THE CROSS WAS WHEN THEY SLAMMED IT ON MY BACK."
"YOUR HANDS HURT FROM TRACTING AND KNOCKING ON DOORS ALL DAY,
I GUESS WHEN THEY POUNDED NAILS INTO MINE, I ACHED IN A SIMILAR WAY.
IT'S HARD NOT TO HEAR FROM HOME WHEN YOUR FAMILY'S NOT THERE TO SEE,
I LOST COMMUNICATION ON THE CROSS AND CRIED, 'FATHER, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?'"
"WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON, BUT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US YOU SEE,
I ENDURED TO THE END AND FINISHED MY MISSION, SO FOLLOW AND DO LIKE ME." HE EMBRACED ME WITH HIS ARMS, AND HIS LIGHT FILLED ME WITH HIS LOVE,
WITH TEARS IN MY EYES I WATCHED AS HE WENT BACK TO THE FATHER ABOVE.
I STOOD WITH AWE AND WONDER WHEN A BEEP RANG IN MY HEAD,
I LISTENED AND HEARD THE ALARM, THEN REALIZED I WAS IN MY BED.
MY COMPANION LET OUT A GROAN. "6:30 ALREADY, NOW WAY!"
I SAY UP AND SAID, "COME ON, I'LL EVEN CARRY YOUR SCRIPTURES TODAY!"
NO MATTER WHAT WE GO THROUGH, WHEN WE FEEL WE CAN'T TAKE MORE,
JUST STOP AND THINK ABOUT JESUS CHRIST, HE'S BEEN THERE BEFORE.
